So mothers day was just the other day, for those who still have mothers i hope you made their day unforgettable and for those that who don’t i hope you remembered them like i did as my mother was everything, In short this is my story.
My dad is a tool, my sister is a goody two shoes and my two young brothers have no idea what goes on around them, pretty much the good memory of my mum is all i have left. Those memories give me hope that some day its gonna get better, they keep me going. We all draw strength from different things, i draw mine from knowing that even though i can not see her she is still here with me…………….
To many of us, mothers are just the women that gave birth to us and are on our asses all the time about cleaning up, or being good girls/boys, or always snooping into our business whenever they can, but to me my mother was everything.
She was my absent father that provided for her family and was always there for her family, she is the woman that stood tall even after her ungrateful husband left her for another one of his flings, she was the woman that held her tears so that her children would not see her cry and learn that the world is a bitter place at a tender age even though I could hear her cry in her bed playing to God for strength, she was the woman that even when depression caught up with her and everybody thought she was crazy she would still wake up at four in the morning to make breakfast for her kids that had to go to school early.
When all the ladies in the village used a handy man do their fences when the sheep got through and damaged it, my mother would always repair her own to perfection, call her a tom boy but I know she was a beautiful one inside out. Unfortunately she never got to know what it was like to call her kids just to know how they are when they were all grown up nor did her children know what it was like to get a call from mum, just to look at the phone ringing and its mom calling, well until today I sometimes stare at my phone when it’s not ringing and hope that a call would come through and it would be mom but then I remember she is no more, every day I long for a call from mum but in the back of my head I know it’s never coming through. EVER!
Is it weird that the sound of music makes all my six senses go craizy, that all i wonna do is sing along or dance to the music be it jazz, classics, the blues, rock…. name it that music makes my boring life more exiting than ever like its the missing part of me that non can ever replace……..
So many times is life we wait for people around us to validate us not knowing that the more we give them importance the more they will bring us down and treat us like crap.
Its us who should strive to validate ourselves and everybody around us will start respecting us and seeing the much value we hold deep within us. only when we realize that value are we really able to live and know for a fact that we are alive and not just existing.
Ever gone out with a friend and went back home wishing you didn’t, or taken something and even though you know you can make it better you are just stuck ?
Sometimes i just wonder why some people are and why some are not…..guess am yet to know!
But untill this blows over am dead to my friend.
Long time friend.
To a lot of people in the world, making it is about dinning with kings and owning the biggest part of this world, having all the power they can but to her its different, to her all she wants is a home, a safe haven. a place she will surely know that she doesn’t have to worry that someday someone will wake up and decide that she doesn’t belong anymore ,
Even after all the drama that happens in her normal day she know there is a place to go and just be her, where even though there will be nobody will be there to tell her she did good she will know in her heart that she did her best.
If only the world understood that all she wants is a home.